by Paula D.
on May 18, 2023 9:16 am in Family
Flowers remind my mother of funerals. I remember her uttering this notion to my father many times when I was a kid. And around the holidays I recall hearing, “Well, so-and-so sent an expensive arrangement but she knows I don’t like flowers.”
It’s the standard mixed bouquet in particular that generates “funeral perfume.” The arrangement consists of dyed carnations, Madonna lily, Peruvian lily, roses, asters, and a few other fillers.
The older you get, the more funerals you attend and you start to take notice of these things. And you know what? My mother is right. I associate the fragrance of a bouquet with funerals. When I first enter Stop & Shop and see the flower section to my right, I think of Grandma Mary’s beautiful satin, blue dress she wore to her wake. When I’m in Bushwick passing a bodega and catch the scent of the flowers on the sidewalk, it’s a subtle reminder that I really need to write a Will.
Generational trauma?
The point is, gifting my mother a bouquet for Mother’s Day is out of the question. In lieu of flowers, I get her scratch-offs. She loves scratch-offs! For many years now, it’s what my sisters and I buy her exclusively for Christmas, her birthday, and Mother’s Day. And she is very pleased to receive them. Over the years, in an effort to show I care, I’ve gotten creative with presentation. I’ve given Mom scratch-offs in a gold satchel. I made a scratch-off Christmas wreath once and perhaps my best… a slot machine that “puked out” scratch-offs.
This Sunday for Mother’s Day, we’re going to Aqueduct Casino. It’s been a mother/daughter outing we’ve been wanting to do for some time!
If your Mother also associates flowers with death and you’re looking for last-minute gift ideas, do not fret, I’ve figured it out for you…
Shop local: The Swellife has beautiful gifty items for mom, jewelry, candles, clothing, and more. Self-care: Holland Avenue Soap Co. products can be picked up at the last min. this weekend at Fat Cardinal Bakery and Lisena Garden Center. The word Dengo in Portuguese means affection, love, and charm. Dengo Botanic is a new local, handcrafted organic skincare company, sourcing healing ingredients from Brazil. For products and pick-up DM – @dengobotanica
Sweet treats never fail: (unless your mother is diabetic like mine): Pop in Fat Cardinal, Rockaway Beach Bakery, or Ciro’s Bakery for fresh breads, pastries, cookies, and cakes.
An experience: If your mother isn’t into gambling then Aqueduct isn’t in the cards. Alternatives: enjoy time at her favorite local eatery: Cuisine by Claudette, Bungalow Bar, Super Burrito, breakfast at Brothers or enjoy a coffee together at Greenhouse Cafe. What about a day pass to the sauna at the Rockaway Hotel? Experience a restorative yoga class with your mother atGoodForm Studio. Go birding at Jamaica Bay Refuge with the whole family.
A homemade card: Your mother has everything already, right? Spend intentional time creating a card for Mom. It can be a collage of printed family photos. How about a drawing of a special memory you shared together? Make a funny card, and make her laugh! Write meaningful words inside this card to let her know how much she is loved and appreciated.
Mother’s Day is a celebration of all women and our maternal essence. This Sunday reach out to the special women in your life and let them know how much you love them! Happy Mother’s Day!
Garden nerds unite! There are two spring plant sale events this weekend – The Beach 91st Street Community Garden is hosting a plant sale tomorrow, Saturday May 6, from 11am-2pm. On Sunday – the following day – head to Edgemere Farm for more plants of different varieties and music. Below are the details for both community happenings.
B91 Garden Plant Sale – Saturday, May 6 from 11am-2pm
For sale find veg starters and herbs – many varieties of tomatoes, sugar snap peas, cucumbers, soybeans, basil, sage, parsley and more. Add to your ornamental garden salt torrent perennials – the lovely yellow stella d’oro daylily, pink echinacea, walkers low (hello cat people) with its irresistible purple, popping flora in June, autumn joy will deliver late season burgundy bursts. Look out for a few other perennial surprises and some annual plants too! Shop house plants – spider plants and purple queens. The plants for sale have been propagated by garden members with love or purchased by members as donation from our favorite local nursery Lisena Garden Center.
The garden gates are open to all. Tour the space, bring a picnic and stay a while. There will be sidewalk chalk for the kiddos and freebies for the community. Come hang!
Location: 136 Beach 91st Street, (beach block) Rockaway Beach. Follow the B91 Garden on IG (@beach91communitygarden) to watch it grow, for educational garden tips and to view their monthly rotating art exhibit.
Edgemere Farm Plant Sale – Sunday, May 7 from 10am – 1pm
Edgemere Farm is kicking off their season with a spring plant sale which is an important fundraiser for the farm. Seed swap, free compost giveaway, and a live performance by Rockaway Chamber Music is on the agenda. Flowers for sale – cosmos, french marigold, snapdragon, coreopsis, anise hyssop and many more. Get your veggie starters – broccoli, cabbage, bell peppers, swiss chard, strawberries to name a few. And of course your staple cooking herbs will be available for purchase.
Edgemere Farm is a volunteer-run, half-acre urban farm in Far Rockaway that provides homegrown organic foods to the Edgemere community and beyond. This is a special place, please visit on Sunday and support!
Location: 385 Beach 45th St. Far Rockaway . A little birdy told me there will be some jammin events this season at the farm. Keep an eye out on IG @edgemerefarm and visit edgemerefarm.org for additional information.
This zucchini bread is a crowd-pleaser. I know because my Aunt Marie brought it to my Easter party last week and it very much pleased us all.
Aunt Marie calls it bread. It contains Bisquick, so that makes sense. I thought it was more like a crustless quiche, but wouldn’t that be a frittata? But the recipe does not include milk. What’s in a name? Call it what you will, this recipe is bellissimo!
The taste is punchy. The sweet onions and parmesan cheese are rich and dominant. The texture is fluffy with a complementary crispy edge. Aunt Marie says, “Serve it very hot!”
What I like and most often gravitate toward in a recipe is simplicity. This one is that. Let the flavors of the limited ingredients shine. Italian Zucchini Bread is perfect for breakfast, brunch, lunch, or to impress guests at a party.*
Ingredients:
2 cups diced zucchini (peeled or unpeeled)
1 large white onion chopped
1/2 cup extra light Colavita oil (or vegetable oil as a last resort)
1/2 cup parmesan (or more, you know how we Italians do it)
1 cup Bisquick
4 eggs beaten
Salt and pepper to taste
Directions:
Grease a 9 inch pie pan or a 9×9 square pan
Combine all ingredients
Bake at 350 for 35-40 Minutes or until lightly brown
————————————————————————-
Update: My friend Roberta said after reading my column that this recipe was on the back of the Bisquick box back in the day and many homemakers of the time would make this bread!
by Paula D.
on April 20, 2023 10:16 am in Animals / Cats
My cat Johny unexpectedly passed away last week. The whole ordeal has been quite traumatic for me.
I heard a scuffle in the middle of the night. He was limp in the legs, yowling and breathing heavily. I knew immediately this was an emergency. I got him in a carrier, found my keys, and headed to VERG Animal Hospital at four something in the morning. I was f*!king frantic. I was exhausted, yet fired with adrenaline. I was driving dangerously through red lights. I pulled up and just left my car outside the building on 4th Avenue, later to find a hefty ticket on my windshield. One of two from that morning. I don’t even care.
I was in absolute hysterics. The doors flew open and they took Johny STAT. Someone put me in a little square waiting room. But I didn’t have to wait long. Dr. James, the emergency medicine physician on at the time, entered to find me on the floor screaming and crying. I was told about feline cardiomyopathy. The heart condition is most often undetectable, until it’s too late. I believe John actually passed away in the car with me on the way to Brooklyn.
Johny’s life could have ended 7 years ago. He was on the ACC kill list with 48 hours to go. Through my friend Chris and his team at Bushwick Street Cats, we rescued John. He was emaciated and severely dehydrated. His road to physical and mental recovery was a long one. In time though, Johny settled and I feel, finally found happiness and felt loved.
Johny enjoyed using computers and playing with paper and plastic bags. He always asked to be brushed before his breakfast. He preferred crunchy dry food over wet food. Johny was very smart. I discovered that early on, when he started opening doors in the house! He had a complex, deep personality. John was a people cat. He loved the attention from me and visitors that came to the house. John had beautiful gold eyes. Friends said Johny resembled Steve Buscemi!
While this has been an arduous mourning process, I have also been given a gift – sincere compassion and love from my family, my friends, and two special strangers.
My people have left little presents outside my door – chocolate, a cool jello-like squishy fake tomato, cards, and a slice of pizza. Other friends have texted kind condolences. The morning it all happened, and a dear Brooklyn friend showed up at the animal hospital, unannounced after receiving my text. I am filled with gratitude for this.
The two strangers, not strangers anymore…
Dominique, who works at VERG came around from her desk, embraced me as I cried and said, “I feel your energy.” That brief moment of compassion from Dominique I will never forget.
Dr. James could not 100% confirm the diagnosis of heart disease. Therefore, I was contemplating a necropsy. I felt I needed to know. It was all so sudden and unexplained. I felt guilty, maybe I could have prevented it? But if I ok’d the necropsy, Johny wouldn’t have a proper cremation and I wouldn’t receive a beautiful imprint of his paw. I could not think clearly.
Dr. James was assisting me with this difficult choice, patiently and empathically. Truly more than was required of her. Before I made my decision against the necropsy – on her break – Dr. James went to Target, purchased a clay imprint kit, and made a print of Johny’s paw. I am beyond overwhelmed by this gesture of kindness. Dr. James’ dedication to her practice, to the animals she cares for and their humans is exceptional. She gives me hope.
There was nothing else I could possibly write about this week. I gather many of you have suffered the loss of a beloved animal family member. I hope some of these words comfort you and I appreciate you taking the time to read this column.
