Softer Resolutions
I was never a big New Year’s Resolution person, but the last 3 years, I’ve set “flexible” goals. This year, I wanted to read the definition of “resolution.” It’s good to remind yourself of the words and to hear them out loud.
Resolution: a firm decision to do or not to do something. The quality of being determined or resolute.
I post to-do notes on my wall. The visual of it always helps me more than writing a list on a pad of paper that gets lost on the dining room table amongst the mail, packages, my work bag, coffee cups, lotto tickets, and a cat. I’ve also taped up words like “Discipline” and “Focus” when I need a push. I’m thinking this visual note-board method would also be good for my 2026 New Year’s Resolutions.
The definition of “resolution” is regimented. My goals for this year will be a little looser, with some percentages, to relieve the pressure. Set the bar low(er), and you have a better chance at succeeding! Maybe some of my new year goals will resonate with you…
Stop saying sorry for stupid things (80%). This was on my list last year, and it worked to an extent. I want to move more on it, and 80% feels right. Say sorry when it’s genuinely needed—but not sorry for things like canceling plans, asking a question, having an opinion, someone else’s mistake, taking too long, or your personal preferences.
Stop rushing into a public or work bathroom when someone knocks. At work, we have one bathroom that most women use, and I find myself rushing the second someone knocks on the door, saying, (yep) “Sorry! One min.” when I really need about five minutes. This behavior of mine drives me crazy. I resolve to take the amount of time I need and say, “Occupied.” Nothing excessive—just not rushing, which makes me anxious and frazzled.
People pleasing (40%). This one is deep for me, and for many, I imagine. Why do we people-please over our own physical and mental well-being? Fear of rejection, conflict, abandonment, low self-esteem, and past experiences is the short answer. I’m adding a percentage to this one because I can’t undo a lifetime of learned behavior in one year. I’m aiming to stop pleasing people by 40%.
A Monthly Adventure: New Experience and/or Travel. This is a fun one I saw posted on Facebook by an old college friend. She said her New Year’s resolution is to go to one new place a month. I want to do this too! I’m trying to be realistic, though. Is it a new place, or like travel, or can it be a new experience? What counts? I want it to feel fresh and exciting, meet new people, or to learn about a new place. Can I travel once a month with money and time being what they are? Does going to New Jersey count? I’m thinking it can be a day trip to a location I’ve been before, but it has to include a new experience, at least. Let’s see how this one plays out.
Quality time with the people I love. In my book, this shouldn’t be a resolution—it should be an absolute. I need the reminder, though, because life gets hectic and I lose touch with what my priorities are sometimes, smothered by anxiety and stupid life things that won’t matter when I look back in two months. I will spend quality time with my family and a few special friends this new year.
Do you know about the acronym SMART goals? Specific: means naming what you want/what is the objective, don’t be vague. Measurable: means seeing progress. I find setting mini-goals helps so much. I need these incremental rewards. It’s like training your cat not to jump on the table—you use treats. What will your treat-reward be at each milestone? Get a little notebook to track your progress. Achievable: means it fits the reality of your time, money, and energy. Be realistic—this is my percentages trick. Relevant: means it actually matters to you. Time: give it a timeframe, an actual calendar date (and milestones) so it doesn’t fade. Set a timer, for the short-term — to do the thing. You’re retraining your brain; with some goals, it will help to think of it scientifically. Remove some of the emotional attachment; you are a robot, or a Nike commercial: just do it.
What do your New Year’s resolutions look like? Maybe this column will inspire you to set some percentages. Either way, I hope 2026 brings you all that you wish for. Happy New Year from Tomato!
